REVIEW : Tony and Clyde (XBOX Series X)
Normally, I like to make good introductions, even better if I can make them a little long so that they know well what we are going to talk about. But, today, with Tony and Clyde, we will make a small exception since the only thing they need to know is that we are facing one of the worst titles of the year.
This top-down shooter puts us at the feet of Tony and Clyde, two hitmen who look like a mix of Kane and Lynch, with Vincent and Jules from Pulp Fiction. Plot honestly, I could not tell you what it is about, since unfortunately (and as you will read later), I did not have such a good time to focus on something so insignificant for the experience as that, but what I can tell you is that the story has a horrible presentation in which mainly “animations” are used that hardly seem made with Photoshop’s Puppet Warp.
The sound design has generic and forgettable music, effects that are mostly lacking in quality and sound terrible, in addition to generally poorly acted voice performances, this being something that tortured me a lot, thanks to the phrases that are Suppose my character said every time he killed someone, they screwed up, repeating themselves over and over every 8 seconds or so.
As for the visual, it could be said that it is uglier than the Anthem endgame. The lighting is creepy, it works poorly, and in general, it does not help much since everything looks quite dark; the design of the characters and certain elements of the stage have a somewhat cartoonish style, which does not match the levels and some of their more “real” textures, making everything look doubly ugly, in addition to everything This we can add a nightmare main menu, which is so badly done, that they even forgot to remove the interface from the game! (As you can see below)
To finish off all this, I must say that although the title is localized to Spanish, it has more errors than the continuity of the Resident Evil films, with gems such as “run” where it is supposed to say “run, “Back “instead of” back “or” aim “instead of” aim, “among others. In fairness, I have to say, as far as I remember, sections of the story were well written, but it’s hard to give much credit when it’s worth noting.
Gameplay
I still don’t know how I’m going to extend this paragraph to reach the number of words required by the writing since there is not much topic in terms of gameplay. Still, I’m sure that I will achieve it in some way or another, I can even. Whether I have already found some way to do it, or maybe not, I don’t know. Some believe that if we at least have good gameplay, everything else is easier to ignore, something I quite agree with, but which does not happen in this case.
The controls to start with having a mapping that, in general, is perceived quite uncomfortable and unnatural, where we can shoot with the right bumper (or make a melee attack when close to an enemy), change weapons with the right trigger, reload with the Y, in addition to being able to dodge with the bumper and the left trigger, and activate or deactivate the running option by using the button on the left stick.
Likewise, the great problem of the game does not lie in this, but in the general experience, which quickly becomes tedious thanks to the many bugs that I run into (of which I speak in the duration section), to a system of shots that for the most part depend on chance, and on artificial intelligence that is smart as handsome as me (I’m as pretty as a tax bill, to get used to the idea). On the other hand, the shots suffer from too wide a dispersion, causing them to go everywhere, except where we are aiming, something that commonly manages to kill us almost effortlessly, thanks to the sometimes exaggerated aim of our enemies.
On the other hand, artificial “intelligence” is non-existent. Therefore our enemies, instead of reacting or “thinking,” are handled in the following way: As soon as one of the many generic and repetitive enemies sees us, all Assets on the level will go very slowly towards our location, and forming a straight line or piling up if the circumstances arise, firing with almost millimeter precision the moment we decide to cross in front of them. The problem with this is that it only happens with the enemies that have appeared on the level; many will only do so when we advance through certain areas, causing many times to be killed from behind or even from outside the range of the camera.
Maybe the only thing I can admit that I don’t mind is the weapon unlock system. Each level will allow us to unlock two of these, either at the end of them or even by killing the anthropomorphic juice boxes hidden in each of them. Once we get new weapons, we can select them from the Cargo section in the main menu to be used during our next mission … although I do not know why I am telling you this if, at this point, it does not matter much either.
Duration
This look is just outrageous. To give you an idea, it took me about 2 hours to finish the first level, thanks to all the problems that this “game” has, and it only got worse. With enemies suddenly appearing behind me, others shooting out of camera range, some getting stuck in areas that only managed to make things more difficult for me, or even bugs that sent me flying through the air, among many other problems. I found it really complicated and almost impossible to finish the levels in a short time. Even after dying dozens of times and learning the location of each enemy, something would always happen that spoiled my game, be it the aimbot aim of the enemy or one of the many problems mentioned above.
The long hours in excess that this game has at the end of the day only means that, after a few hours, we do not want to touch it again, something that also applies to achievement hunters since we can surely get them in their entirety during the first level.
The latter is what for me ended up revealing the idea behind this title: to carry out the minimum possible effort to put on sale a game whose achievements are an easier joke than “have you seen José?”, And for those who are dedicated to the farming of achievements, they can get 1000 G-points just like nothing.
conclusion
I know what you are wondering: At the end of the day, what do you rescue the most from Tony and Clyde ? and the simple answer is my friends: NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING! To be consumed by the emulsion is a total and utter abomination that should be thrown deep into the Locust pits. Maybe if someone gives them this game (something that can only happen to people who hate them), they could tell them to try playing it during a stream on Twitch or Youtube so that the people who see them enjoy a little with the free insults that go to start constantly, but other than that I do not recommend under ANY circumstances to buy or even accept this game as a gift, which is a total lack of respect for any real and serious developer in the industry.
PREVIEW : Despot’s Game: Dystopian Army Builder (PC)
